Title: “Determination and Surrender”
11/19/06 33rd Sunday in Ordinary Time Yr. B
I Samuel 1:4-20
Rev. Joy R. Haertig
Our scripture this morning was from I Samuel in the
Old Testament.
Samuel was a judge and a prophet in the early
Israelite community. He is the bridge
between the era when Judges ruled the Israelites to when a King would rule
them. He was the one who, at the request
of God, appointed King Saul and then King David. This was a very significant time in Israelite
history; Samuel was truly guided by God and was considered a great statesman by
the people of
I am certain that is why the story of his mother
Hannah struggling to conceive a child gets the attention it does in I
Samuel. Time and again in the Bible God
chooses leaders whose beginnings are humble and often difficult. God chooses the unexpected ones, turning the
world and its values on its head.
Perhaps this is God’s way of reminding us that we
are not in control and that God does indeed have “his eye on the sparrow”. It appears that God works through strength
that is formed out of humility.
We had an interesting conversation about Hannah in
Bible study this week. A few of us had
very different reactions to her situation, her desire for a boy child and her
bargaining with God. We wondered if
societal pressures drove Hannah, maybe selfishness, or yet something deeper
than either of those things? And after
wanting a child so desperately, how could she possibly give him over to the
temple to be raised by the priest in service to the Lord?
Her determination to have Samuel and her willingness
to surrender him intrigue me.
Determination and a willingness to surrender may
look like polar opposites, but perhaps these are virtues that can work in
tandem with each other, particularly in the midst of difficulties.
Perhaps we should spend a moment on the word
surrender. I suspect that it may not be
a very positive word for some of us.
Most of us think of surrender as meaning, “to give up”, something that
we consider weak and maybe even an embarrassment.
The word surrender in 12-step programs is used to
talk about surrendering to a Higher Power. It is not about giving up as much as
it is about releasing. Releasing the
notion that we are in control and releasing our clinging to a particular
outcome.
I came upon an article written by a woman named
Francine Gikow entitled, “Infertility and the Mystery of Suffering”. She wrote about the spiritual struggle she
and her husband encountered when they were unable to get pregnant. Like most couples, when the time came for
them to want to have a child they assumed they would be able to, but their
best-laid plans went awry. They grew
resentful, angry and jealous as their friends became pregnant and even
complained at how fertile they were.
She resented the words “be fruitful and multiply” in
the Bible. As a practicing Catholic she
felt pressure from the Vatican II documents on the vocation of marriage and the
importance of having children. Childless
couples seemed like second best everywhere she turned.
She began to realize how angry she was when she went
to confession. Her priest explained to
her that God doesn’t will bad things to happen: they just do. What God does will, he told her, is that we
become closer to him and grow in love for him through whatever happens.
She tucked that one away in the back of her mind,
not sure what he may have meant.
Francine was so happy when she discovered Hannah in
the Bible. Here was a woman she could
relate to. Hannah’s heart was broken
just like hers. Hannah wanted peace,
Francine wanted peace too.
Hannah eventually bore a son, her prayers “were
answered” – we say. Of course Francine
read this and saw how it happened for other women in the Bible too and it only
increased her sense of betrayal and resentment.
Why them and not her? Was she not
good enough, righteous enough?
“I am an educated career woman”, she wrote. “I am used to being in charge. I know how to solve problems and find ways to
get things done.”
But infertility – like a lot of things – does not
play by the rules of the workplace.
Francine kept praying. She kept drawing close to God even if she was
mad at “him”.
This was how she worded it:
“I realized that I was being united with Christ on
the cross.” (The cross became a symbol
of how God shared her pain; he was not playing chess with her biology.)
“In the end”, she writes. “I found peace with infertility and became
reconciled with it. The key, I believe,
was accepting that I was not in control of my life, God is. Once I understood this, I could turn to God
expecting that God would teach me what to do.”
Determination and surrender.
Francine did not give up on her deep longing to
become a mother, but she did release her control for a specific outcome. In time she and her husband felt guided to
adopt a child, which they did. And when
they were later in the process of adopting a second child Francine became
pregnant.
Did God pull strings or change his mind because
Francine deserved something she had not deserved before? Absolutely not.
She and her husband see both of their children as
gifts and Francine is thankful for what she gained spiritually through such a
difficult time.
Though the Bible story may have us picturing a God
that opens and closes wombs, we know better than to take that literally
today. But the story of Hannah can
still offer something very important for our spiritual formation in that it
tells us to seek and practice determination and surrender, strength and
humility. This is a theme we see over
and over again in scripture, perhaps because it is something all of us need to
learn.
Hannah was determined to have a child, yet she
surrendered her agony to the Lord.
Eventually Hannah gave birth to Samuel who became an Israelite judge and
prophet who practiced strength and humility time and again in his
leadership.
This past week I was talking with our janitor David
Groat who has been working very hard to become an airplane pilot. David said, “I don’t know why God wants me to
do this.” “Because you want to.” I
replied. “Because it brings you joy and
uses your gifts.” “I know”, he said, “I
believe that too.” “But I wonder how God
will use my skills once I graduate.”
David’s determination and his desire to surrender to
God’s will really touched me. I had an
image of David dancing with God. David
has been nurturing a relationship with God that allows him to trust that it is
actually possible to dance with God and finding the rhythm that allows them to
dance together without us stepping on each other’s toes.
Jesus truly modeled to us the importance of both
determination and surrender. Determined
to speak on behalf of the poor, he challenged religious laws that excluded and
oppressed the most vulnerable yet he would surrender to God’s guidance and not
return violence with violence.
This week we have been praying for Jennifer Tanner
who had surgery for colon and rectal cancer.
(She was broken hearted to learn that four small spots, the size of a
freckle, had metastasized to her liver.
We are broken hearted with her and her family.)
I have not walked the journey of cancer except as a
companion, but in what I have witnessed it seems to be one of those journeys
that teaches a person the intimate dance of determination and surrender.
We must remain determined to try and find cures for
cancer and its causes as well, but we surrender into God for strength and
wisdom when we are living with it in our life.
Determination and surrender.
They make good partners.
How well do they dance together in your life?