Title: “In God We Trust?”
Scripture: Thessalonians 1:1-10, Exodus 33:12-33
10/16/05 28th Sunday in Ordinary Time, Year A
Rev. Joy R. Haertig
Today's reading from Exodus speaks to me first as a pastor - as one that is called as a servant and leader to the church - and to this church in particular. Moses has been called by God to lead the Hebrews from slavery into freedom, from the worship of many gods to the worship of one God. He is speaking so openly and intimately to God about what he needs, based on what he believes is expected of him.
Moses speaks openly to God: “God, you have said to me, 'Bring up this people', but you have not let me know whom you will send with me.”
In other words, “God, you have called me to be a leader to these people but I can't do that alone. Who will work with me?”
And secondly, “now that you have called me to do this task, I need you to show me your ways so that I may know you so the people will listen to me.”
In other words, “I need to trust you and to know who I am trusting so I can in turn be found trustworthy in the eyes of others so that I might help them trust in you.”
Moses is praying what I would call a “Pastors Prayer”.
Dear God - I cannot do this alone, who will walk with me?
I need to trust you and to know who I am trusting so I can in turn be found trustworthy in the eyes of others so that I might help them trust in you.
This is not the prayer of an egotistical leader. This is the prayer of a man or woman who is well aware of the vulnerability of belief, the preciousness of relationships and the miracle itself that busy human beings will stop for a while to pray and ponder the meaning of life and the existence of God. This is a prayer of one who knows that trust is foundational to spiritual growth.
Moses knows that the relationship between God and God's people will not last without it.
In my 19 years of conversations in ministry it is clear to me that many people - in our churches, and of course outside of them, do not trust God. This breaks a pastors heart time and again.
The reasons behind the lack of trust vary. Sometimes it is because of abusive actions of a pastor or a priest. Sometimes it is because the God they learned about as a child was not a Presence they could or would trust.
Sometimes it is because a person was raised to be totally self-sufficient, life was a private struggle to be endured and you were to trust no one, much less God. And of course sometimes it is because we feel that God failed us - prayers went unanswered, why trust an untrustworthy God?
Some of us can walk away from all of that - our lack of trust gives us permission to move on. But some of us can't, some of us need and want to heal our distrust and build a bridge again to God. Years may pass before we are ready - but we eventually come back to try again.
Building or rebuilding a spiritual bridge of trust will look different for different people, but I do know that it requires being intentional and a willingness to be open.
The early Hebrew people had a hard time letting go of their worship of idols, it was hard to trust a God they could not see with their eyes at least through a graven image. They had to be willing to push out the boundaries of what they had been taught and change - change their perception and understanding of who God was and what a trusting, rather than bargaining or manipulating, relationship would look like.
In today's reading God tells Moses that he cannot see God face to face, but that he will be able to see God's goodness. If you have been given an image of God that does not witness to God's goodness - it is OKAY to push it out of your psyche! Lightning will not strike! You will not be punished. If you still image the finger pointing God or the God of requirements that makes you more weary than trusting of God - it is okay to say “You are not helping me grow into Christ, into my full self - I don't trust you.” Over time that image will slip away and the Spirit can bring a new image forward.
Kathleen Norris, one of my favorite authors writes that “converting a painful inheritance into something good requires all the discernment we can muster, both from what is within us and what we can glean from mentors.” Like Moses said, “I cannot do it alone”. All of us need mentors - trustworthy mentors that can help us see and trust God's goodness.
Perhaps your trust has been broken due to unanswered prayer. This can also be healed, but only with intention and openness to change. Perhaps we were raised to believe that if we were good, God would answer our prayers - if our prayers were not answered, then we must have been bad or that we do not know how to pray the right way.
A woman we will call Linda, lost her three-year-old daughter. A well-meaning friend encouraged her to take heart because now her “girl was in a better place, God needed an angel in heaven and chose your daughter.” How could anyone trust a God like that? This sacrificial image of God is an image we are familiar with but it is a false one.
Trust can be rebuilt, over time, but only with a change in perception and expectation that reflects the true goodness of God.
Quoting Kathleen Norris again - We do not completely leave the negative baggage behind of our spiritual past, it becomes grist for the mill, but healing and a renewal of trust can happen if we are willing to be intentional and open.
Moses' prayer is a wonderful pastors prayer - but it is a prayer for all of us who seek God and who long for others to know God too.
Dear God - I cannot do this alone. Who will walk with me?
I need to trust you and to know who I am trusting so I can in turn be found trustworthy in the eyes of others so that I might help them trust in you.
(Wanting to offer the congregation another image of God, we played a popular pop song on the sound system which I called God's love song to us, “Ain't No Mountain High Enough”- it was quite powerful.)