| Title: | The Power of Friendship |
| Scripture: | Isaiah 43:18-25, Mark 2:1-12 |
| Date: | 2/23/03 Seventh Sunday after Epiphany (Yr. B) |
| Rev. Joy Haertig |
(I invite each of you to picture the face of a dear friend this morning…as you hold this friend in your mind I would like to share a bit about a friend of mine.)
I have been spoiled these past almost 20 years by the friendship of a wonderful man named Matthew. Some of you have met him, he has attended church here occasionally when he is in town and he preached here one time about 7 years ago. We met in 1984 in seminary and became immediate friends. Over the years we have shared many things, laughed and cried, danced and broken bread together at many special occasions. He flew me to Minneapolis for his ordination. We housed him when a break-up with his partner became abusive; he was the first one at the hospital when our babies were born and the first one to baby-sit. He read scripture at our wedding and eight years later walked with me through my divorce, reassuring me time and again as I faced my doubts and fears. Matthew has been the most abiding friend I have ever had.
Early this fall on a sunny day he came from Portland for a visit. While we sat and watched Lindsey's soccer game, he told me that it looked like he and his partner would be relocating from Portland, Oregon to Minneapolis, Minnesota. I was shocked by the news, I am sure I felt the earth move a bit as I considered him being that far away from us! Of course I know our friendship will remain, as will his relationship as Godfather to our children. But none-the-less, the grief of his departure has been a difficult one.
Friendship is one of God's greatest gifts. Friendship is where grace becomes more than just a nice word. As one writer put it, “God chooses friendship as the means of changing the world.” In a time when our world leaders and the media are increasing our fears and worries, friendship is becoming all the more important. Friendships can be the training ground for learning about compassion, joy, interdependence, powerlessness, anger, honest communication, healing, caring, abiding companionship, trust- and so much more!
The Jewish writer, Elie Weisel, who went through the horror of the Holocaust and lived to write about it - writes, “hope is never without a human face”. Friends can give shape to hope when a person feels sure there is no hope to be found. Friendship can be a remarkable vessel of God's love, purpose and presence.
Today's reading from the Gospel of Mark reflects the hope-giving power of friendships. Four very determined friends carry their paralyzed friend on his mat to Jesus, when the crowd makes it impossible to get to Jesus through the door, they take their friend to the roof where they are able to remove part of it and lower him to Jesus.
Everyone needs friends like that; people who are there through thick and thin, who are willing to take the consequences of standing by your side even when the way is not clear. As I see it, the friends are as much a part of God's healing grace as Jesus is.
William Herzog, a New Testament scholar I have referred to before, has studied the hierarchical structure of Jesus' world both in and outside of the temple. He believes that the main reason the scribes are so awed and amazed by what Jesus is doing in today's story, is because his behavior puts everyone on equal footing. According to Jesus' words and actions, God's forgiveness and grace is available to all. This was shocking and threatening to those in authority because the structure of relating had always followed a dominance/submission model of human relationships. The world-view was that one person or group dominated another. The dominant group exercised authority and control over all aspects of a submissive party's existence. This was true in the Roman government; it was true in the temple. According to Herzog's research, God's forgiveness and grace was “brokered” by the temple priests. “If one sought the benefits of Yahweh's patronage, then one had to gain access to them by using the temple system brokered by the priests.”
Jesus understood that God's grace and love were available to all and could be shared by all. Remember the wonderful quote from the Gospel of John, chapter 15, verse 15? In John 15:15, Jesus tells his disciples that they are not his servants or slaves, but his friends. The dominance/submission model of “doling” out God's love and grace does not work for Jesus. Friendship is not about control or domination, in fact a true and abiding friendship will not blossom in such an environment, any kind of transformation or healing that might occur just withers and falls away.
I recently had the honor of hearing a friend's story about how she came to know that God was more than a distant being through the actions of friends. My friend was under a great deal of stress in many areas of her life and was getting ready to lead a week-long conference when she discovered that her colleague had not followed through on his portion of the conference activities. This was the “straw that broke the camels back”, she fell apart - there was no more strength to hold it all together. She became emotionally paralyzed; she could no longer function.
One by one, various people who were arriving for the event gathered around her and took on different responsibilities. Even people she had known but had fell out of contact with wrapped their arms around her and assured her that they were there for her and would not let her down. One friend called her office and on her behalf asked them to give my friend a week off after the conference to re-group. Another friend encouraged her to take time to cry and rest. All the right people were there at just the right time and stepped forward to walk with her through a much-needed time of personal healing. The conference came together and everyone had a good time.
God became real for her through the love of her friends. As she described it - ever since then, she now sees God everywhere.
Jesus shows to us that God chooses friendship as the means of changing the world. The dominance/submission model of human relating can not lead to transformation and healing.
As I pondered the healing-power of friendships and considered friendship as a model for changing the world, I remembered how much the United Church of Christ model of missionary work has changed over the years. In our early years, even long before we were the United Church of Christ but went by the sole names of Congregational, Christian, Evangelical, or Reformed - we participated in missionary work from the dominance/submission model. We entered these other countries with our own agenda; we would exercise our authority and control to make them “like us”. Over the years we have learned new ways of being in relationship with people across the world. The model is that of “friendship” or “partnership”. Men and women from our country enter into a community with the goal of forming friendships, knowing full well that while they work and learn together, transformation - healing and love will happen for all the parties involved.
Friendship is one of God's greatest gifts. Friendship has nothing to do with dominance or submission - friendship puts us on equal footing. Friendship acknowledges the gifts and wisdom we each have within us without a sense of competition or “one upmanship”.
As I listen and read the politics of our day I am reminded of my first visit to the United Nations in New York City when I was about the age of 13. The memory that was imprinted upon my mind was that the UN was about friendship and respect between nations - I remember thinking then, “Wow! God is in this place!” It is difficult for nations to work together as friends when the domination/submission model is so prevalent in our way of thinking and acting, but I still believe that the model of friendship and respect is ultimately the model that can lead us towards reconciliation.
The friendship of the four who carried the paralyzed man was truly a human embodiment of God's love. Their actions and those of Jesus transformed the paralysis of their friend's life. Maybe God does choose friendship as the means of changing the world. My prayer is that we do not allow the growing fears of our time to break the bonds of friendship either with those close to home or with our sisters and brothers across the world.